Seriously? WARNING - cursing

WARNING I will be cursing, might be the S word, might be the F word. It'll come out the exact way as I have it in my head, so it could be anything! For those who know me well, I seldom swear and have only said the F work once or twice, maybe 3 times ever!

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So as embarrassed as I am to say this, we needed some temporary financial aid to get back up on our feet after a tumble. So I called the disability office several times in the last month or so to see if they could give me some information. Stupid idiots never called me back, I keep calling and calling. Nothing.

Finally I call Ontario works instead. They provide financial help to people such as single mothers, students, families who are down on their luck and can't make enough to live etc. They tell me to stop into Disability and do a 'self referral' because they can't help me. So today, my husband takes the entire day off to accompany me to what turns into a day of fucking appointment after appointment with no end in sight.

I do NOT need this damn stress. I'm trying to get off my blood pressure pills AND my anti-anxiety drugs and this is NOT helping.

I digress. I am at Disability and sit down. We are can overhear the gentleman at the booth speaking to the lady, it's not like he was quiet or anything. He was picking up his check there since he had just gotten out of jail the day before. Now I am NOT one to stereotype, but after MY sitting down and talking to the lady, I could do nothing but be TOTALLY pissed off that they couldn't help me. Why? Because my husband makes too much money. He makes a decent pay, but another few dollars a month would really help us stay afloat. I left, choking back my tears, blood boiling. They sent us back to Ontario Works.

So off to get blood work done in between and man did my blood come out red and fast! I knew it was boiling! Normal bi-weekly blood work, no worries.

So Ontario Works takes our info and we sit. ONE and a HALF hours later I say to the lady HELLLLOOOO??????? Okay, nicely, because I am not an un-nice person. MORONS forgot to register us in the computer. We get in immediately. Gentleman talks to us, very helpful, blah blah blah. We get some immediate but one-time assistance that put us immediately back on our feet again. But nothing more. Again, my husband makes too much money?

This is what makes me angry? Fucking women having more kids so they can get more money and not work....cons getting money for being a criminal, because they can't get a job because they have a record! and us, a fucking family who got screwed over by this FUCKING disease can't get a fucking dime! How does this make ANY sense at all?????? I just don't get it????? I know, again, I am stereotyping....I know there are PLENTY of women and men and families who truly and legally need the help and get it, but why should my husband get a lesser paying job JUST so we can get a tiny bit of financial help? It's not like I ASKED for this. I LOVED my daycare job, if I didn't, I wouldn't have done it for 18 years and paid 18 years of taxes!!!!!! but noooooooooo that's not a job....assholes! It's all I can do to keep back my tears right now.